Inspiration

Inspiration always seems to strike more when you’re down. Maybe it’s because that’s when all defenses are down and the thoughts you always try to avoid push through.

Maybe it’s because it’s when you feel lonely and misunderstood and you just pour out your feelings without seconds thoughts. Maybe it’s because it’s when you alienate yourself from the rest of the world and go to that special place inside your head. Or maybe none of this is true at all! Maybe inspiration is always there, but when they’re happy thoughts you don’t have the same urge to kick them out. 

Stories behind History/ As histórias por detrás da História

Nota: Versão portuguesa mais abaixo. 

Travelling is more than nice pictures and heavenly landscapes, more than trying new dishes and hearing a different language. Travelling is about the stories behind the History. It’s about going to places were terrible things happened, not because you want to check another touristic place on your list, but because you know that even if it’s unpleasant and uncomfortable, there are certain things that should not be ignored.

We’ve all read the facts and heard the numbers, but to see it, to feel it, to imagine it… that’s different. History tells us about the events, but places like this tell us about the people. And all the stories and dreams that never had a chance to complete.

And the more you think about it, the more you wonder how someone can do such things to another human beings… worst… to millions of other human beings. You can’t understand how it ever got that far. How one person with one idea can cause so much damage.

It makes you think about the power of words and ideas, misconceptions and stereotypes.

Since we think about it as History, there’s a false reassurance that 

this was ages ago, except it wasn’t. It’s still quite recent. And with nations still fighting for personal interests, with racism still so present, with the constant need to label everyone… is the world really that much different from what it was 70 years ago?

It’s sad that we need places like Treblinka¹ to remind us to think about these things, but because we’re selfish or to protect our sanity there are things we don’t like to think about. Maybe because it’s so bad that we wish they weren’t true. However, denial is more dangerous than any crazy idea, so we can’t let History be forgotten. We can’t let those stories be in vain.

As histórias por detrás da História

Viajar é mais do que fotografias bonitas e paisagens deslumbrantes, mais do que provar pratos novos e ouvir uma língua diferente. Viajar é descobrir as histórias por detrás da História. É visitar sítios onde coisas horríveis aconteceram, não porque queres riscar mais um sítio turístico da tua lista, mas porque sabes que mesmo que seja desagradável e desconfortável, há certas coisas que não devem ser ignoradas.

Todos conhecemos os factos e ouvimos os números, mas vê-lo, senti-lo, imaginá-lo… isso é diferente. A História conta-nos sobre os eventos, mas sítios como este contam-nos sobre as pessoas. E todas as histórias e sonhos que nunca tiveram oportunidade de concretizar.

E quanto mais pensamos sobre isso, mais nos perguntamos como alguém pode fazer tão mal a outro ser humano… pior… a milhões de outros seres humanos. É difícil perceber como chegou a tão longe. Como uma pessoa com uma ideia pode causar tantos danos.

Faz-nos pensar no poder das palavras e das ideias, equívocos e estereótipos.

Como pensamos nisso como História, há um falso conforto de que é um passado longínquo. Mas não é.  É ainda bastante recente. E com as nações que continuam a lutar por interesses pessoais, com o racismo ainda tão presente e com a constante necessidade de rotular toda a gente… está o mundo tão diferente do que era há 70 anos atrás?

É triste que precisemos de lugares como Treblinka² para nos lembrar de pensarmos sobre estas coisas. Por egoísmo ou para protegermos a nossa sanidade há coisas sobre as quais não gostamos de pensar. Talvez porque é uma realidade tão negra que não queremos acreditar que seja verdade. Contudo, a negação é mais perigosa do que qualquer ideia, por isso não podemos deixar a História ser esquecida. Não podemos deixar que estas histórias tenham sido em vão.

¹ Treblinka Penal Labor Camp and Extermination Camp

² Campo de trabalhos forçados e Campo de Exterminação de Treblinka

Follow your heart/Segue o teu coração

Nota: versão portuguesa mais abaixo

Do not let fear stop you.

Surround yourself with people that inspire you.

Do not settle for anything else than your dreams. However, remember to enjoy the journey while you try to make them real.

Failures become experience and uncertainties will fade away. Shut down that voice that says that you’re aiming too high. Your dreams can only be stolen from you by yourself.

Respect yourself. Do not sell yourself short, don’t think that you’re bigger than you really are. Find what keeps you grounded.

Make the most of every adventure, give it your best shot and take the best of it with you.

Cry, if you have to, but let the laugh destroy your demons.

Get involved, allow yourself to get attached, dreams mean nothing if there’s no-one to share them with.

Find the things that make you smile and do them more often. Life’s too short to postpone.

If you’re looking for happiness look inside yourself, nothing will give you more satisfaction than feeling fulfilled.

Don’t stop working on yourself, that’s the biggest project you’ll ever have. Think through, evaluate and progress, but do not kill yourself with regret.

Give yourself a breather, allow things to happen and remember, each detour will lead you to another roll of possibilities.

Stay focused, but don’t forget to live. You’ll get there when you’re ready.

Work hard, but enjoy the process. Do not rush through it, don’t let things go past you unnoticed.

Collect the best of those you admire, but don’t let yourself be define by anyone but you.

Learn to forgive yourself, to cut off some slack. Remember that if you’re not better that anyone it doesn’t make sense that you have to live up to higher standards.

Enjoy yourself, learn to follow your own advice and above all… follow your heart!

Segue o teu coração

Não deixes que o medo te pare.

Rodeia-te de pessoas que te inspiram.

Não te contentes com nada que seja menos do que os teus sonhos, mas lembra-te de aproveitar a viagem enquanto tentas torná-los reais.

Os erros transformam-se em experiência e as incertezas vão desaparecer. Ignora aquela voz que diz que estás a sonhar demasiado alto. Só tu podes roubar os teus próprios sonhos.

Respeita-te. Não te convenças que vales menos do que és, não penses que és maior do que na realidade. Encontra o que te mantém humilde.

Chora, se precisares, mas deixa que o riso destrua os teus demónios.

Envolve-te, permite-te criar laços, os sonhos não significam nada se não tiveres com quem os partilhar.

Encontra o que te faz sorrir e fá-lo com mais frequência. A vida é demasiado curta para continuares a adiar.

Se procuras felicidade, olha para dentro de ti, nada traz mais satisfação do que te sentires realizado.

Continua a investir em ti, este é o maior projecto que alguma vez terás. Pensa, avalia e progride, mas não te mates com arrependimentos.

Para para respirar, deixa que as coisas aconteçam e lembra-te que cada desvio abre um novo leque de oportunidades.

Mantém-te focado, mas não te esqueças de viver. Vais lá chegar quando estiveres preparado.

Trabalha duro, mas não te esqueças de apreciar o processo. Não te apresses, não deixes que as coisas te passem ao lado.

Colhe o melhor daqueles que admiras, mas não te deixes definir por alguém que não és.

Aprende a perdoar-te, a dar-te um desconto. Lembra-te que se não és melhor que os outros, não faz sentido que tenhas de responder a padrões mais elevados.

Diverte-te, aprende a seguir os teus próprios conselhos, e acima de tudo… segue o teu coração!

Rome wasn’t built in a day

Have you ever wanted something so hard that you ended up sabotaging yourself?

It’s good to be focused and to have ambition, but how far should you take it?

When instead of driving you, that will is turning every little mistake into huge failures maybe is time to step back and reevaluate.

It’s cocky even, to expect to be able to learn that fast. And that’s not who you are, not who you want to be. It’s just… you are so eager to know, to understand!

You’re learning, rationally you know it, but why doesn’t it have to be so slow?  

Why does it feel like you learning so much and yet you don’t know anything?

You feel the frustration coming, but you have to remind yourself to ignore it, because you are your own worst enemy, and Rome wasn’t built in a day.

There are dreams and wishes, hopes and silly ambitions.

From the child that smiles, to the adult who now only cries.

There are truths and lies, and secrets that everyone denies.

Is it real, or is it not? Or is it all part of a bigger plot?

There’s good and bad, and the fear of what lies ahead.

What was safe is now unsure, and in your heart you feel so poor.

But there are days when the sun shines, so you believe the change of tides.

‘Cause time has passed and the kid has grown, but real dreams never get old.

So you hold on and push it through, because maybe one day they will be true.

Far, not Away/Longe, não distante

Note: Versão portuguesa mais abaixo

There’s a tranquility that comes when being away from home. The peacefulness that comes with seeing everything for the first time and not having a role defined. It’s refreshing to start over without having to lose the past. To test things out without the need to meet pre-defined standards.

There’s a joy that comes when meeting people who also think the world is too small and too big at the same time. People that feel trapped if stuck in one place for too long. It’s reassuring to know there are others out there who’ve seen so much and yet not enough, others who dream of more… more people, more cultures, more lands, more stories.

There’s a hope that comes with getting to know people who come from so far, that were raised so differently and yet seem to understand these urges better than your closest friend. It’s empowering to feel how far you can go when you push yourself, when you don’t let yourself be defined by your fears.

But everything in life comes at some cots…

So there’s this voice in your head that wonders if something will ever be enough, if one day you’ll want to stay forever. A sadness that peeks every now and then for knowing what you might be risking. The guilt that follows every time you feel like you should be somewhere you are not.

There’s a wish to be in two places at the same place, the want to share things with some people even if you know it wouldn’t be the same if they were there. There are highs and lows, moments of certainty and insecurity, but there’s also something much bugger that comes out relationships are put to the test and overcome it.

There’s something warm that grows inside when you discover that despite time and distance some things never change. When you learn that only by putting yourself first sometimes you can continue to be the person that everyone needs you to be.

Longe, não Distante

Há uma tranquilidade que vem com o estar longe de casa. Uma calma que vem com ver tudo pela primeira vez e não ter um papel definido. É refrescante começar de novo sem ter de perder o passado, testar coisas novas sem ter de responder a padrões pré-definidos.

Há uma alegria que vem com conhecer pessoas que também pensam que o mundo é demasiado pequeno e grande ao mesmo tempo. Pessoas que se sentem presas quando paradas num lugar durante muito tempo.

É reconfortante saber que há outros por aí que já viram tanto e ainda assim não o suficiente, outros que sonham com mais… mais pessoas, mais culturas, mais terras, mais histórias.

Há uma esperança que vem com conhecer pessoas que vêm de tão longe, que foram criadas de formas tão diferentes e ainda assim parecem perceber estas necessidades melhor do que o teu amigo mais próximo.

Dá-te força sentir o quão longe podes ir quando te desafias, quando não deixas que os teus medos te definam.

Mas tudo na vida vem com um preço…

Por isso, há aquela voz na tua cabeça que se pergunta se algo alguma vez será suficiente, se algum dia quererás ficar para sempre. Uma tristeza que espreita de vez em quando, por saber o que estás a arriscar. A culpa que te segue sempre que sentes que devias estar onde não estás.

Há o desejo de estar em dois sítios ao mesmo tempo, a vontade de partilhar coisas com algumas pessoas ainda que saibas que não seriam o mesmo se eles lá estivessem.  Há altos e baixos, momentos de certeza e insegurança, mas há também algo maior que surge quando as relações são postas à prova e sobrevivem.

Há algo caloroso que cresce lá dentro quando descobres que apesar do tempo e da distância há coisas que não mudam. Quando aprendes que apenas pondo as tuas necessidades primeiro de vez em quando podes continuar a ser a pessoa que todos precisam que sejas.

Ever felt?...

Ever felt like the world is too big and too small at the same time? That you want to build something, but can’t dare to imagine yourself stuck at the same place forever?

Ever felt like this couldn’t be just it? That you know that you’re meant for more, but don’t even know where to begin?

Ever felt like no-one gets it? That you can’t even start to make people around you understand what you can’t even explain to yourself?

Ever felt the need to go away? To force yourself into change, even though you hate it, because you know that worse than feel fear is feel nothing?

Ever felt fear and excitement at the same time? The feeling of being overwhelmed and not having enough taking over you?

Ever felt like you’re over your head? That you can’t come up with a suggestion if your life would depend on it, even though ideas keep flooding your head?

Ever felt like you don’t know where you’re going? That you’re lost, but you’re not adrift, because you know (hope) you’ll find your place one day?

Ever felt like you’ve done nothing, when you look back? Even though you’ve grown so much with your experiences?

Moving on... and out

Strange, this need to move when I hate change, how being too long in the same place bothers me when all ever wanted was stability. But there’s a difference between being sill and being stale, just like there’s is a difference between searching for something and just wanting to look for what else is out there.

They say that "Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable”* and maybe that’s what keeps me moving, maybe that’s why I keep trying to find a place where I can make a difference, even if I know that the location doesn’t really matter, that you can touch people’s lives anywhere you go.

New places scare me, new people terrify me, but there’s nothing I fear most than to watch the years go by and see that I haven’t done something that really mattered. 

*Shakespeare Quoted by Thomas Gibson as Aaron Hotchner In  Criminal Minds S01E06

O segredo é a própria infância/The secret is childhood itself

Note: English version below!

O segredo é a própria infância

Cada um de nós vive a sua infância com maior ou menor emoção, com ternura ou decepção lamentativa.

Cada um de nós tem uma motivação particular para se interessar pelas crianças.

Cada um de nós adere, de acordo com as vivências do passado, a uma ideologia colectiva de interesses pela pessoa e pela personagem da criança.

Os adultos podem desprezar, detestar, amar ou venerar a criança, mas a nenhum adulto a criança pode ser indiferente. Não e pode ser indiferente nem à própria infância nem à infância dos outros.

Cada um de nós vive a sua própria experiência infantil.

Cada um de nós aprende a guardar para si certas emoções, decepções, humilhações.

Cada pessoa guarda um segredo.

O segredo do homem é a própria infância.

Fonte: Ensaios sobre a educação II – O Falar de Letras, Horizonte, Biblioteca do Educador, p.312, 1991. João dos Santos

The secret is childhood itself

Each of us lives their childhood with more or less excitement, with tenderness or disappointment.

Each of us has a particular motivation to be interested in children.

Each of us defines, according to the experiences of the past, the collective ideology of interests for the person and the character of the child.

Adults can despise, hate, love or worship children, but no adult can be indifferent to a child. No-one can be indifferent to his own childhood or the childhood of others.

Each of us lives with our own childhood experience.

Each of us learns to keep to ourselves certain emotions, disappointments, humiliations.

Each person keeps a secret.

The secret of the Man is his own childhood.

Source: Fonte: Ensaios sobre a educação II – O Falar de Letras, Horizonte, Biblioteca do Educador, p.312, 1991. João dos Santos

There was a time

There was a time when all was perfect, though you were unaware. Life was breezy, dreams were hopeful and the life ahead of you exciting. There were certainties, friendships for life and troubles fixable with cuddles.

There was a time when everything was suddenly wrong, and it was right on your face no matter how much you tried to ignore it. The journey was dull, the nights a shelter, and a way out not in sight. There were too many questions, people who became strangers and a hole no-one could fill in.

There was a day you discovered you were in control, and you hadn’t even noticed. Life was bearable, dreams were just fiction and you could breathe again. You had learned to cope with the questions, understood there aren’t perfect people and realized that maybe you are the one responsible to fill in the void. 

One day

One day I’ll be the person that stays

One day I’ll find my solid ground

One day I won’t strive to run away

But today is not that day.

One day the hunt will stop

One day the reason will be found

One day I’ll no longer fail

Until then I can only promise to be a message away.

Right place, right time!

Every time I’m about to get back I get nervous.

I can’t help but have high expectations, though I pushed them away.

Every single time I try to convince myself that it won’t be like in my dreams… and it isn’t.

I can’t stop myself from hoping it will be amazing, but it’s more than that, it’s perfect!

I keep saying that distance doesn’t break relationships, people do. That distance doesn’t have to be the ending, that it doesn’t have to mean anything at all, that it is what we do with it and what we’ve built before that defines who we are and the people that remain in our life. However, sometimes it’s hard to believe that eventually the love won’t fade away. 

Each and every single time I prepare myself for what might have changed, and each and every single time they prove me wrong. 

It took less than 5 minutes to feel like I was back, because love has nothing to do with time. It can’t be measured or planned it’s just there. 

I’m not usually like that and I can’t even put it in words, but it just feels… right. Every second of it, every second with them it’s pure joy. 

People change, kids grow up and life goes on, but some things never change. And when the first thing you hear from someone you haven’t seen in a year and a half is “Can you stay forever?" and “I have your picture in my bedroom and it makes me sad, because it reminds me how much I miss you" you know you are in the right place!

Happy Birthday my loves!

Stories

There are stories that change your life. 

Stories that force you took look inside yourself, question who you are and what you want to become.

There are stories of people that make you rethink what once was simple and clear.

Stories that inspire you to want more, to be more.

There are stories that mean the world at a specific time in your life, and others that stay true throughout the whole journey. 

Stories of people, real or fictional, that teach you lessons and remain in your heart no matter what.

It’s funny how something that begun as an escape, then a joke can eventually become such a part of you.

I first started writing because I was lonely.  I listened way more than I talked and even though I was constantly surrounded by people, somehow I couldn’t make myself heard. It didn’t bother me much, however, with time I realized I had to find a way to let the thoughts out. I was never good at talking, but I was used to play endless conversations in my mind, so I figured it shouldn’t be that hard to simply write them down… and it wasn’t!

Oddly enough, it was easier to let the confessions out in written, even if made them permanent. Beginning to write was not planned, I’m not even sure how it happened, just that one day I was sitting in my room and words started to spill out.

It was all very secretive at first, very classified, never to be shared. Partly because it was a side of me that I knew people didn’t know and mostly because I was scared about what the reactions might be.

It took time to even consider the idea of sharing some of these thoughts, it took a hell lot of growing up to allow myself to step out of my comfort zone, but years later here we are…

There are days I wish I was more productive, that I was able to keep up with regular scheduled posts, but I try to go easy on myself, as I want this to be pleasure, not an obligation.

I have so many ideas inside that it’s hard to manage at times, I have this one story in particular that has been following me for years and that I still don’t know what to do with… Part of me really wants to finish it and put it out there, but the other…

When I started updating this blog more regularly I used to enjoy checking out the stats, but then I realized that even if no-one would read it, just putting it down and out there was already quite therapeutic.  And now I may not write as often as I wish, but every once in a while inspiration strikes and I just have to let it flow. 

Twenty-Six/Vinte e Seis

Nota: Versão portuguesa mais abaixo

“I was thinking how I keep waiting for life to get easier. You know, lower stakes, less risk, more reward— easier. And I was thinking that maybe… it doesn’t. I was thinking that maybe the struggle, the climb, the one obstacle after another— Maybe… that’s just life. And you’d think that that would be a depressing thought (…) that it doesn’t get easier, that it just gets different. But it’s not. It’s the opposite of depressing. There’s a relief in it. Life is complex. There’s nothing simple or easy about it. So I can stop waiting for it to… I can stop waiting. And I can just… live.”*

We all create representations of the world when we are little, definitions and standards that we use as guidelines as we grow up. We paint pictures in our mind about what being an adult is and the things that we want to do when we finally get there. Some will be more abstract, others will define clear goals and targets to achieve at a certain age. The turning point. To me that was age 26. I can’t even remember when or why I came up with that number, who was my role model or what kind of calculations were involved, but 26 was, to me, the age I thought I would have everything figured out.

I had this whole life mapped out in my head… the family I would start at this age, the job I would be doing, the projects I would have developed, the things I had already achieved, the whole 9 yard. Yes 26 is quite young, but I’ve always been precocious. Plus, 26 seemed a lifetime a way, more than enough time for me to work on the things I needed to improve and find my way. Twenty six was the age I thought I’d be sure about myself, confident and wise, done with fear and insecurities, settled.

 … Now that I’m here, I discovered I couldn’t have been more wrong.  And you think that would be a depressing thought, that you’re not done yet, that you’re not where you thought you would be. But I found that it’s actually not. I found that even though I can see why I loved that initial plan, and while I still want most of it I now want more. I’m not the same person I was 10 or 15 years ago, and even if the core is still the same I’ve evolved. And maybe I’m not where I thought I would be, but the path I’ve taken has been by far more interesting. The steps back and the challenges I’ve faced turned me into a different person, a better version of myself. And even if it hasn’t always been perfect, all and all it has been an incredible ride.

And so when I think about it now, when I realize that I will probably never have all I want, I can relax. Now that I know the magic day when everything will make sense will never come, I can finally start to enjoy the journey.

A good friend told me once: “It’s not that you don’t have your life set… you just dream higher than most people. The rest of us settle, you don’t”. (Marisa David)

Vinte e Seis

“Estava a pensar como fico constantemente à espera que a vida se torne mais fácil. Sabes, apostas mais baixas, menos risco, mais recompensas – mais fácil. E estava a pensar que talvez… não se torne. Estava a pensar que talvez a luta, a escalada, um obstáculo a seguir ao outro – Talvez… isso seja apenas a vida. E seria de pensar que isso é um pensamento deprimente (…) que não se torna mais fácil, que apenas se torna diferente. Mas não é. É o oposto de deprimente. Há um alívio em sabê-lo. A vida é complexa. Não há nada de simples ou fácil nela. Assim posso parar de esperar. E posso simplesmente… viver”*

Todos nós criamos representações do Mundo quando somos pequenos, definições e padrões de qualidade que usamos para nos orientar enquanto crescemos. Pintamos imagens na nossa mente do que e ser adulto e das coisas que queremos fazer quando finalmente lá chegarmos. Alguns são mais abstractos, outros definem objectivos claros a atingir a determinada idade. O ponto de viragem. Para mim essa idade era aos 26. Não me recordo quando ou como cheguei a esse número, quem era o meu modelo ou que cálculos estiveram envolvidos, mas 26 era, para mim, a idade em que eu pensava que teria tudo sob controlo.

Tinha toda uma vida mapeada na minha cabeça… a família que iria começar nesta idade, o emprego que teria, os projectos que já teria desenvolvido, as coisas que já teria conquistado… Sim, 26 é uma idade bastante prematura, mas sempre fui precoce. Além do mais, os 26 anos pareciam estar a anos-luz, o que me daria mais do que tempo para trabalhar no aspectos que tinha de melhorar e encontrar o meu caminho. Vinte e seis era a idade em que eu achava que seria segura de mim mesma, confiante e sábia, que teria posto um fim aos medos e inseguranças, que estaria tranquila.

… Agora que eles chegaram descobri que não podia estar mais enganada. E seria de pensar que isso seria uma descoberta deprimente, que não atingiste a meta, que não estás onde pensaste que estarias. Mas não é. Apesar de perceber o que me fascinava nesse plano inicial, e apesar de ainda querer realizar grande parte dele, agora quero mais. Não sou a mesma pessoa que era há 10 ou 15 anos atrás, e ainda que o núcleo seja o mesmo, evoluí. E talvez não esteja onde pensei que estaria nesta altura da minha vida, mas o caminho que percorri tem sido bem mais interessante. Os percalços e desafios que enfrentei tornaram-me numa pessoa diferente, uma versão melhorada de mim mesma. E ainda que nem sempre tenha sido perfeito, de uma forma geral tem sido uma experiência incrível.

Assim, quando agora penso nisso, quando me apercebo que provavelmente nunca terei tudo o que desejo, posso relaxar. Agora que sei que esse dia mágico onde tudo fará sentido nunca vai chegar, posso finalmente começar a aproveitar viagem.

Uma boa amiga disse-me uma vez: “Não é que não tenhas a tua vida resolvida… simplesmente sonhas mais alto do que a maioria das pessoas. Nós acomodamo-nos, tu não”. (Marisa David)

*Kate Walsh as Addison Montgomery In Private Practice S05E15

"People change... memories don't”/“As pessoas mudam… as memórias não”*

Nota: Versão portuguesa mais abaixo. 

When people are involved, relationships rise.  The stakes are high and through the journey people are bound to get hurt. No one stays the same, we all evolve, change and grow into something we probably never imagined we would be.

Nothing goes as planned. There’s no way to predict the future, to anticipate what life will throw at you, or at the ones you once thought would always be close. Certainties vanish when you resent the ones that once were your whole world, once disappointment starts to overcome the love.

Nobody is perfect, but you know you reached a turning point when the quietness of the distance is more welcome than the will to keep on fighting. Sometimes the hardest part isn't knowing when to let go, but how to cope with not feeling guilty about giving up.

 The happy moments feel like a lifetime ago, the shared laughs a too distant past. The pictures don’t seem real, all clouded with what has become a pointless war.

It has been said that people change... memories don't. And sometimes that’s all that is left. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that memories are worth the pain and hold on to the fact that just because the relationship didn't turned out how you expected, it didn't mean it wasn't relevant.

“As pessoas mudam… as memórias não”*

Quando há pessoas envolvidas as relações emergem. As apostas são altas e durante a jornada os danos são inevitáveis. Ninguém permanece igual, todos evoluímos, mudamos, tornando-nos em algo que talvez nunca imaginássemos que pudessemos ser.

Nada corre como planeado. É impossível prever o futuro, antecipar os desafios que a vida vai pôr no nosso caminho, ou daqueles que julgámos que sempre nos seriam próximos. As certezas desvanecem-se quando a quietude da distância é mais apreciada do que a vontade de continuar a lutar. Às vezes o mais difícil não é saber quando seguir em frente, mas como lidar com a ausência do sentimento de culpa quando se está a desistir.

Os momentos felizes parecem pertencer a outra vida, as gargalhadas partilhadas a um passado demasiado distante. As fotografias não parecem reais, tudo turvado pelo que se tornou uma guerra sem sentido.

Dizem que as pessoas mudam... as memórias não. E às vezes é só isso que resta. Às vezes tudo o que podes fazer é acreditar que a dor vale a pena pelas memórias criadas, e agarrares-te ao facto de que, apenas porque uma relação não se desenrolou da maneira que gostarias, isso não quer dizer que não foi relevante.

* Author unknown. Shared by  Ana Filipa Nunes/Autor desconhecido. Partilhado por Ana Filipa Nunes.

Fazer uma casa/Let's build a House

Note: English version below!

Olá queridos leitores,

Aqui estamos novamente para falar sobre um dos meus projectos favoritos. Como alguns de vocês se devem lembrar, há cerca de um ano e meio atrás decidi, entre amigos e família, tentar angariar dinheiro para ajudar uma família Moçambicana. Para aqueles que ainda não estão familiarizados com o projecto podem encontrar mais informações aqui.

Não tem sido um processo fácil, e claro que gostaria que tivéssemos alcançando mais, mas até agora já percorremos um bom caminho, como concluir pelas fotografias seguintes:

Para além de todo o trabalho de construção (alicerces, paredes e telhado) conseguimos também terminar as janelas que incluem não só a estrutura de madeira mas também vidros e as redes mosquiteiras essenciais para este local.

Julia (a matriarca da família) está imensamente grata a todos os que nos ajudaram até agora. Pode não parecer muito, para aqueles que como nós sempre tiveram um casa, mas a Júlia mal consegue acreditar que esta é a SUA casa.

Sabemos que ainda há muito a fazer. Acreditamos que esta mulher e os seus filhos merecem melhor e é por isso que esperamos que estas boas notícias inspirem mais pessoas a ajudar-nos. Ainda não decidimos se devemos terminar o exterior (pintura) ou se devemos começar a trabalhar no interior da casa, mas seja como for a vosso contributo será preciso e apreciado.

COMO AJUDAR?

Continuamos a angariar dinheiro numa conta bancária portuguesa que criámos especificamente para este efeito, para evitar os custos das transacções (podem encontrar os detalhes mais abaixo). Criámos ainda uma conta PayPal para aqueles que se sentirem mais seguros a transferir dinheiro desta forma ou que estejam no estrangeiro (podem encontrar o botão PayPal no topo do ecrã, do lado direito).

Banco: Montepio Geral

NIB: 0036 0001 991 00068244 49

Falem com pais, filhos, familiares, amigos e todos aqueles que vocês acharem que podem contribuir, tudo será bem vindo, independentemente do valor. Se por acaso alguém não tiver conta e quiser contribuir contactem-me. Para mais informações ou esclarecimento de dúvidas deixem um comentário em baixo ou enviem-me um mail para filipa15@hotmail.com.

Let's Build a House

Hello my dear readers, 

Here we are again for a quick update on one of my (favorite) projects. Some of you may remember that about a year and a half ago I decided to, amongst my friends and family, raise money to help a family in Mozambique. For those of you who are not yet familiarized with the story, please check it here.

It has not been an easy process. And I’m not going to lie, I wish we could have progressed more, but with everybody’s help we already came a long way, as you can see for yourselves:

In addition to all the construction work made (foundation, walls and roof) we have also managed to finish the windows, which include not only the wood work and the glass, but also the Mosquito Window Net screen so important for this location.

Julia (the matriarch) is so thankful to all of you who have help us so far. It may not seem a lot for us, who have always taken for granted having a home, but Julia can hardly believe this is her own home.

We know there’s still more work to do. We believe this woman and her children deserve better and that’s why we hope this new update will inspire more people to help us. We still haven’t decide if we should finish the exterior (painting) or if we should start working on the interior, but either way your support will be needed and appreciated.

HOW TO HELP?

We are still gathering the money in a Portuguese account (since most of our friends live in Portugal) that we created specifically for this, so we can avoid the transactions costs. You can find the information below. In addition we've also created a Paypal account for those of you who feel safer using it or that might not be in Portugal. You'll find the Paypal button on this blog, on the top left side.

Bank: Montepio Geral

IBAN: PT50 0036 0001 991 00068244 49

Talk to your parents, kids, friends, relatives and everybody that you believe can help. Every donation will be welcomed, no matter how big or small. For questions or more information please leave a comment below.

Farewells and Goodbyes/Despedidas

"What's good about goodbye? What's fair about farewell?"*

Note: Totally unrelated with the previous post, a simple coincidence :)

I’m yet to know someone who enjoys goodbyes. Regardless of what the reasons are, what the circumstances might be, no matter if you understand the reasons or for how long you’ve been preparing yourself, it’s never easy. Not everytime you let someone or something go feels like a goodbye, but if it does, then you know it mattered.

The pain that comes with it, or even just the anticipation, which is sometimes worse are inevitable. It’s always hard to move on from something that we comfortable with, but that’s also how people evolve. Sometimes we need to say goodbye to what we know in order to be able to discover something new. To become more, we may have to leave our comfort zone, even if not forever, at least for a while.

There are different kinds of goodbyes, some are definitive, whether we like it or not. Some are unpredictable, come way too soon, and leave no time or space to do and say everything we planned to.

Farewells may not be completely fair, but it’s up to us to honor the memories created. Farewell doesn’t mean we have to erase everything we’ve lived and learned from that person or that experience, it should mean that because of that we are strong enough to face everything else that is coming our way.

There are things we can not change, people we can’t bring back but as for the rest of goodbyes, it’s up to us to make them definitive or not. Distance doesn’t represent the same it did a few years back, and when people are committed it’s always possible to find the time. So it the end it comes down to whether or not you are willing to fight for it. 

Despedidas

“O que há de bom num adeus? O que há de justo numa despedida?”*

Nota: Nada relacionado com a publicação anterior, mera coincidência :)

Ainda estou para conhecer alguém que goste de dizer adeus. Independentemente das razões, das circunstâncias, do facto de perceberes ou não os motivos ou de há quanto tempo te estás a preparar, nunca é fácil. Nem sempre que abdicamos de algo ou de alguém sentimos que estamos adeus, mas se o sentimos é porque era importante.

A dor que trás, ou até o sofrimento por antecipação, que é por vezes pior, é inevitável. É sempre afastarmo-nos de algo que nos deixa confortáveis, mas também é assim que as pessoas evoluem. Por vezes é preciso dizer adeus ao que conhecemos de forma a podermos descobrir algo novo. Para nos tornarmos mais do que somos, podemos ter de sair da nossa zona de conforto, ainda que não para sempre, pelo menos por algum tempo.

Há diferentes tipos de adeus, alguns são definitivos, quer queiramos ou não. Muitos são imprevisíveis, vêm demasiado cedo, não deixando tempo nem espaço para dizermos e fazermos tudo o que tínhamos planeado.

As despedidas podem não ser completamente justas, mas depende de nós honrarmos as memórias criadas. Uma despedida não significa que tenhamos de apagar tudo o que vivemos ou aprendemos com essa pessoa ou situação, deve antes significar que por causa dessa experiência, somos fortes o suficiente para enfrentar tudo o que surja no nosso caminho.

Há coisas que não podemos mudar, pessoas que não podemos trazer de volta, mas para o resto das despedidas, depende de nós se são definitivas ou não. A distância já não tem o mesmo significado que tinha anteriormente, e quando as pessoas se comprometem é sempre possível arranjar tempo. No fim tudo depende se estás disposto ou não a lutar por isso.

* Inspired by "What's good about goodbye? What's fair about farewell?", Unknown author, shared by Danielle Bizzini Diniz/Inspirado por “O que há de bom num adeus? O que há de justo numa despedida?”, Autor desconhecido, partilhado por Danielle Bizzini Diniz.

Farewell/Adeus

Nota: Versão portuguesa mais abaixo

Today another cycle closes, another experience comes to an end.

It's impressive how we are surprised during life, how something that began as nothing can become so much, and how the wish to be more is not enough to keep us from missing what we are leaving behind.

It's true... every single experience brings us something new, and this was not an exception.

The choice was mine, but this shows how much I grew during this period. I learned to risk, to believe even if just a little that maybe I can go further. Your voices echo in my head, reminding me of the faith you have in me. I leave better than when I came in, stronger, richer and with a full heart to share with others what I've learned from you.

There are no words to describe these past two and a half years I can only say that 

“I'm thankful for my years spent with this family, for everything we shared, every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them with me and lead by their example wherever I go.”*

Versão portuguesa:

Hoje mais um ciclo se encerra, mais uma experência chega ao fim.

É impressionante como somos surpreendidos durante a vida, como algo que começa em nada se pode tornar tanto, e como o desejo de ser mais não impede que se sinta falta do que fica para trás.

De facto todas as experiências nos trazem algo de novo e esta não foi excepção.

A decisão foi minha, mas isso mostra o quanto cresci durante este tempo. Aprendi a arriscar, a acreditar nem que seja apenas um pouco que talvez possa chegar mais longe. As vossas vozes ecoam na minha cabeça, relembrando-me da fé que têm em mim. Saio melhor do que entrei, mais forte, mais rica e de coração cheio para partilhar com outros aquilo que aprendi com vocês.

Não há palavras para resumir o que foram estes dois anos e meio, apenas posso dizer que

“Estou grata pelos anos que passei com esta familia, por tudo o que partilhámos, cada oportunidade que tivemos de crescer. Levo o melhor de vocês comigo e vou seguir dando o exemplo onde quer que vá.*

* by A.J. Cook as J.J. in Criminal Minds S06E02