Tuesday, April 25, 2006

It’s so hard to stay alive when the world seems to collapse. The bad things always happen at the same time, and no matter how hard you try they always seems to win. When you think that your life is going to improve and that the problems are already apart everything starts again...
It’s too difficult to smile when you’re so afraid, when all you want to do is cry, and all you need is time... but the world can’t stop not even a moment, and so you lose yourself, and when this happens you almost never find the right way again.
And this people... everyone seems to be so different... so worst! No-one ever wants or bothers to help you, and you start to be panic... All you wish is fly, fly away... You try to be strong, you try to move on, you try not to fall down, but this seems to be impossible; I mean, how can you face this world alone? You just a girl...
Your head is so confuse... you think too much, why can’t you just forget everything, all this stupid responsibilities?... Do the ones who are closer to you have any idea of what you are felling? Maybe it’s just fase, maybe it’s going away someday... but, and if it doesn’t? How can anyone be with all this fear and sadness for a lifetime?
At night, when you’re warm in your bed, you always dream about better days, and better people... But deep inside you know that they’re just stupid dreams... stupid childishness’...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Sad love letter...

My love,
Before I start I want to apologise for not having the courage to do this face to face, but I know that if I look to your face I’d probably wouldn’t be able to do it, and I have to.
These few months we passed together were incredible, honestly, it was the best thing ever happened to me. I had already lost my hope, it never occurred me I could love someone the way I love you… and it never occurred me that someone could love me so much like you do knowing me so well. You fought for me, for my love and for my trust…
For thousand times I try to tell you, you shouldn’t love me, and for thousand times you said you could handle it and that we would be just fine.
You’re a wonderful guy… you’re beautiful, you’re sweet, you care, you talk, you listen… I guess you are everything a girl could wish but still I have to leave you… I’m sorry, I really am, but this isn’t working for me… I’m too inconstant, I’m too scrod up!
Sometimes my head gets stupid, my heart gets confused and I have doubts… I don’t want you to be miserable because of me I wouldn’t stand that and if I stay with you I know I will hurt you… it’s not like I want to but it’s just who I am… sooner or later I would runaway, I guess it’s better to be soon.
I don’t expect you to understand, I know it’s kind of insane but it’s the truth… I love you sweetheart, and that is exactly why I have to move away. Find a girl who really deserve you, love her and make her the happiest girl in Earth. I… I will keep you in my heart and I will love you forever… because you were the one. I’m just sorry I wasn’t ready…

Monday, April 10, 2006


Estou farta de ouvir
Quando quero falar,
Estou farta de sorrir
Quando quero chorar

Estou farta de acordar
Quando quero dormir,
Estou farta de estudar
Quando me quero divertir

Estou farta de partir
Quando quero ficar,
Estou farta de sair
Quando quero entrar

Estou farta de parar
Quando quero saltar,
Estou farta de calar
Quando quero gritar

Estou farta de existir
Quando quero viver,
Estou farta de gostar
Quando quero amar

Estou farta de sentir
Esta solidão
Estou farta de estar só
No meio da multidão!

Monday, April 03, 2006

You don’t know who I am, what I feel or what I think. You take me for granted; you forget me and then you want me back. But that doesn’t work for me… I may forgive but I never ever forget.
I’m lost in this world; I’m lost in my mind… I’m mad with my self because I never feel right! I want to believe and love like an normal girl but all I can feel is emptiness and pain.
Sometimes I’m so into my dreams that I forget reality and when I wake up everything seems worst.
I wish I have somebody to trust… Someone to love and could understand. I don’t blame everyone else for be so alone because I know deep inside that it is my entire fault.
I have money, family and friends… I have more than I could ask for but still every night I can hear my heart crying. I don’t want to be ungrateful to all of my friends because I know they love me and I love them all. If I’m still up until today I can only thanked them, because even without knowing they help me every day. I love when I’m useful and I love to help everyone but no matter how strong we are there’re moments in our life when we all need some support.
I miss someone to listen, I miss someone who can take care of me, but how can I miss something I had never met?