Wednesday, November 15, 2017

To us


Just when I had lost all hope you entered my life.
I had reached rock bottom, so for once there was no fear, for once there was nothing holding me back.
Our eyes met for the very first time for a moment, despite your attempts to hide. In a matter of minutes we were all over each other.
We didn’t noticed until it was too late… we were in each other’s hearts.


Things couldn’t be more different this time… There was fear, oh god, there was fear!
I was in a better place, I had the memories, but I also had so much more to lose this time around.
My palms were sweaty, my breath uneven. My smile was showing, but inside my guts were turned.
We were both unsure as we took our first steps, then you took a long glance at me and finally said… I remember you!
Relief washed over both of us as we fell in each other’s arms.


This time everything was easier, little time had gone by.
I had butterflies in my stomach, but I was excited.
I came, we saw, we conquered. The world was ours!
At least until it was time to say goodbye…


Now 4 years had passed. Time had stretched too much.
I was dreaming for the moment I laid eyes on you, and yet there was so much holding me back… I didn’t want to face reality, I didn’t want to burst the bubble.
I kept forcing myself to keep my hopes down. I had once again abandoned you. Half your life had passed without me in it… What could I expect?
I braced myself for rejection as I took the final step and open the door. Before my bum could even reach the car seat I heard your voices echoing my name in a constant and so welcomed melody. I felt home.
We fell so easily into our world, it was hard to believe we had ever been apart.
But there was a new sense of urgency now. More than ever, the awareness that our time was limited. We drank each other desperately, spending every single moment together, unwilling to waste any time. Every single day we were haunted by the clock ticking down. Every hug, every kiss, every touch treasured as it was out last.
The worst part is not walking away, is doing so without ever knowing if or when I will see you again. The worst is wonder if I'll ever feel such sense of gratification. The worst is wonder if I'll ever feel as much at home as I feel when we're together. The worst is wonder if I’ll ever be able to do something as right!

Happy birthday munchkins!

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