Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Friends



Even without trusting people that much or being that sociable, I have had my fair share of friendships. Most of them were amazing and all certainly worth it, because in one way or another they all taught me something.

With some people the connection is obvious, you have the same interests, same values, same tastes, with others however, you’re so different from eachother that no matter how hard you try to break down the reason you’ll never be able to explain why you get along so well.

Over the years I’ve learnt that there are no equal relationships, not with lovers nor with friends. I understood that I can’t compare what I feel for two different people or have the same expectations regarding all my friends. I know now that some of them will always end up losing touch or postponing our meetings when they claim to miss us some much, and I don’t take it personally anymore, because I’ve learnt to accept that it doesn’t mean they’re not being honest when they say they care, it’s just who they are.

There was a period in my life I was terrified with the idea of not being with my friends everyday, because in my mind, no matter what promises would be made we would end up apart. If I had had a choice, I would have never changed the circumstances, but gladly sometimes life forces us out of our comfort zone only to teach us to have more faith in the relations we build. I would be lying if I said things didn’t change, but with those people the friendship remained, and even though we all grew in so many ways, we haven’t grown apart and are pretty sure now that we won’t.

The next lesson wasn’t that easy to cope with, and it happen when I realized that, not only special bonds don’t last forever, sometimes they end abruptly. It’s one thing to lose someone because the friendship slowly faded away, but it’s a bit tougher when you have to let go of something that you truly appreciated and used to make your day. To try to avoid the pain, I think it’s normal that you go through a denial stage, when you try to be oblivious to it, where you try to convince yourself that it wasn’t that special or that you didn’t care about that person that much. Eventually though, I found that it was much healthier to admit to myself that I had to let go, not punishing myself or the other person for what could have been done differently, but being happy because even though it was over I did get a chance to experience those moments.  

I also used to think that a true friend had to be someone I had known for years and that had to be in my live constantly, but now I know that there are people in your life that somehow just touch your heart and no matter how long you’ve met, what the future holds or how long you’re apart you’ll always have a special feeling for. Those special people that for some reason you just click with, that tend to get you without too many words and that very easily steal a place in your heart. The same ones that you may not speak with for months but that with just one text message can bring back all the joy.

There aren’t too equal friendships, but they all bring something into our lives. Hopefully most of them will bring you happiness, trust, laughs and love but even if they make your heart ache and your mind doubt, try to focus on the good part. If you had relationship with someone, you must have shared good moments, so don’t feel miserable about it, or not happy, just embrace it and move on, and remember, there’s nothing like the feeling of sharing a loud laugh, an intimate look or a tight hug with a friend. 

2 comments :

Annee Tromp said...

Such Yoda-like words of wisdom from such a young person; aha!!
but with a very old soul methinks! xxx

Filipa Ferreira said...

thank you sooo much :)