Thursday, April 12, 2012

Feeling Special & Being Special


Hi lovelies :)

This is the piece that won me 2nd place at my first ever contest writting. It's a bit long but I hope you enjoy it!

Being special is not about being perfect; it’s about making a difference in someone’s life. A special person is someone who makes you smile through the worst, the first one you call when your world starts to collapse, and the first you think of when you hear good news. To be special is not something you can attempt, it’s something that comes naturally, without even trying. It’s something you reach by being noble, honest, and true to yourself.

Some people are just special and they captivate others. They are genuine, pure, nice, and spontaneous. No, they’re not perfect, they have flaws, they make mistakes but there’s something about them. Something you’re not quite able to put your finger on or explain. It doesn’t matter anyway; some people just have the gift of being incredibly likeable. They don’t try to please everyone, but it just naturally happens. They don’t have to try to be funny or stand out because it will inevitably happen. Some people come into our lives unannounced and when you notice them it’s too late, they’ve already stolen your heart. These people have no clue how great they are and how much their friendship brings into your life. Some people are so unbelievably irresistible that they can get even the most skeptical person to stand by them no matter what. It’s like not matter how much they tried, that person could never do anything wrong to make you want to push them away. Sometimes there’s just that click and you know. You know that no matter what life brings or what may happen between the two of you, or even if for some reason you grow apart, it doesn’t matter because that person will always have a special place in your heart.

We can’t guess what makes someone special. There’s no definition for it, it’s not something you can describe or even understand. We all had that moment when we felt drawn to someone who rationally we never thought would appeal to us. It doesn’t matter for how long you’ve met them or how much you know about them. The different values and ideas don’t seem to matter because in the end for whatever reason you feel connected to that person. The fact that you cannot predict whom you’re going to meet and how you’re going to feel about someone is the beauty of life, that’s what makes everything interesting.

Underrating people tends to happen sometimes. The truth is everybody has something special in him or her; everybody is special in his or her own way for somebody. Yes, everyone is special, but there’s a big difference between being special and feeling special. Unfortunately some of the most amazing people never truly realize how special they are. Everyday I hear stories about incredible people who somehow never got a chance to feel special. People with incredible hearts, amazing values, and people that meant the world to so many others, for one reason or another never truly felt appreciated.

There’s a difference about feeling special and being special because the first one relates to the way you feel and the other to the way you truly are and what you represent to others. Feeling special is not so much about how great you are, but how you perceive yourself. It’s about the way you feel about yourself, about life.
Nobody feels special all the time. As human beings we’re unsatisfied by nature.  We always want more, we’re constantly craving for something else. What we have to learn is to enjoy the moments that we have. We have to bear in mind that these glimpses of happiness are the best we can get.

William Shakespeare said that, "Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable” and we can apply the same principle here. Whether we admit it or not we all want to feel special. Some of us may have a hard time believing that we are worth it, that we deserve it. People may pretend they don’t care because they’re afraid to get hurt or to be disappointed but deep inside I guarantee you the wish is there. To feel special is not a luxury or a whim it’s a need, actually it’s a right! To feel unique, to feel useful, to feel loved. No one should go through life without ever experiencing these feelings.

So how does it come? How can we reach that feeling? How can we get to that place?

Truth is there are no formulas or guidelines. We can think about it, write about it, or sing about it as much as we can, but we will never be able to find an answer. It’s not a science, it’s subjective; it’s about emotions and feelings, not theories or explanations.

As it’s related to what we feel and who we are, when we think about “being special” or “feeling special” we tend to put ourselves in the center of the question, to consider only the way other people act toward us. However, what I have realized is that the easiest and most rewarding way to feel special is by helping someone to feel special too. By focusing on someone else’s needs, by helping them get through their problems and understand how much we care, we can get there. More than to hear someone tell you how great you are or how much you mean to him or her sometimes all you need is to feel that you have a purpose. That you’re not useless or disposable, that there are things that only you can do. So maybe you’re not the best singer in the world, you’ll never be a best-seller writer or win a gold medal, but at some point you may be the only one who can mitigate someone’s pain.

To me, being special is not about the big moments, it’s about the small ones. It’s all on those little gestures, in the details that everybody else seems to be oblivious to. It’s all in that smile that reassures you everything will work out eventually, in that kiss that tells you to hold on just a little bit longer. It’s in that special hug that keeps you from breaking apart; it’s on that uncontrollable laugh that you share when all is gone.

To feel special has a lot to do with the way you relate to people and develop your relationships. No one will ever have the ability to make you feel good about yourself, to make you feel unique and amazing as the people who are around you. By being surrounded by special people you tend to learn from them. By getting a taste of how good it feels to be noticed, to be cared, you too will feel the urge to make that impact in someone’s life. When you stop doing it to pursue that title and you start doing it for the simple pleasure of watching someone smile is when you’ve actually found the right path. Those altruistic actions, that selfless attitude are what will make you special in the long run. Eventually it will become so natural that you won’t even notice it anymore, and to me that’s part of the charm. More often than not these people have no idea how great they are. It’s not because they’re faking humbleness, it’s because it’s something that comes so naturally to them that doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore.

We all want to feel special, but can we even identify what we need to feel it? It’s such a transversal subject. You can feel special because you’re the best in class, because you’re a team’s leader, because you’re the prettiest, or the smartest, or simply the most recognized.  Then there are the other, not so logic or clear reasons. Like when you feel special when, your usually quiet and calm best friend snaps at you for no reason, because it only means that she trusts you enough to know that you’ll never leave her side. When you get pulled out of your graduation party to console a broken hearted friend, because apparently no one could do it as well as you. When having to get up in the middle of the night to guarantee there’re no monsters under the bed doesn’t hurt half as much because you know no one else could give them that peace of mind. To feel special you don’t have to feel that you’re the best; most times you just need to feel that you matter.

Despite how special someone is we all have insecurities and fears. We all have those days when we just want to runaway and hide. Days when it’s hard to keep it together, days when you doubt if someone really cares, and if anyone would miss you if you were gone. Days when you seem unable to get it right and you hate every trace of you. It’s uncannily though, how twisted things are. How the features you hate about yourself can be the ones that make you special to the eyes of someone else. To feel special you have to have someone who makes you feel good and likes who you are. Someone who not only knows, but praises those little peculiarities you always wished you could change about yourself. You feel special when you know that people believe and rely on you.  You feel special when you understand that there must be something good in you if they keep coming back. You’ll feel special once you understand that you can’t take criticism too seriously, that it’s impossible to please everyone, that’s it’s okay to make mistakes, and that failing won’t take away your value.

People around you play a crucial role in how you turn out, what you become, and how you see yourself. Your family, your friends, your lovers, all of them have their own share of credit when it comes to making you feel special. The truth of the matter is that no matter how much they love you, or how much they care you’ll never be able to feel special until you accept yourself. You can have all the support in the world, but you won’t feel special unless you understand that you deserve it and allow yourself to feel it, because ultimately the power to feel special relies in your hands.

1 comment :

Annee Tromp said...

and Yes you are.......really special, a very inspiring and introspective piece of work, hate to repeat the yoda-like wisdom comparison, but you really are a born wordsmith me luv! xxxx