Sunday, January 08, 2017


There are days you impress yourself with how everything turned out, the challenges you took, the fears you faced and the many ways you refused to let your insecurities defy who you are and how far you can get.

Other days you look at your life and it feels like you’ve achieved nothing, that you’re immensely far from where you want to be, that you keep taking steps in random directions and that you’re no closer to your goal than you were back in high school.

Some days you’re just completely out of focus. All you can think about is all the things you haven’t managed to achieve yet. You’ve always dreamed big. You’re destined to do great things with your life, that’s what everyone keeps telling you, that’s what they believe, that’s what they made YOU believe. And yet there are days you have no purpose. Days where all the inspiration is gone, days where there is no motivation, no hope, no will.

You feel constantly trapped in this dichotomy of having days when you feel like you can change the world, and days you can barely find the strength to get out of bed. And it’s funny that these up and downs are what hasn’t really changed over the years. They are your constant, your solid ground, from when you where that bubbly little girl until the moment you are now. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, maybe balance is overrated and the constant struggle is what keeps you from becoming stale (even though that’s how you feel, more often than you’d like to admit).

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