Which way to go

Sometimes I have this feeling that I have no idea what I’m doing with my life… no, let me rephrase that. On rare occasions I feel like I’m doing just what I should be doing. The rest of the time is filled with unanswered questions and uncertainties. And maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, maybe that’s what pushes us forward but even if just for a while I’d like to get to a place where I’m content, where I can just be in the moment. Without thinking about the future or how I can make it work in the long run.

There’s so much left to do, to say. I’m curious about so many different areas, and yes, some of them are completely random and most likely I’ll probably never get to experience like job shadowing a pediatric surgeon or a theatre/tv show director or pick the brains of a real life detective or a writer (yes these are real examples) the point is, there’s just so many opportunities and at the same time, not enough. I can see them from a far, but don’t ever seem able to find how to reach them.

Minutes turn into hours, days turn into weeks, the years go by and I can’t find myself any closer to it than I was before. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t know what it is… I know what I don’t what to do, and I think I know who I want to become… there are just so many ways to get there that I have to wonder how I can be certain I chose the right one.