Sunday, April 06, 2014

Never written letters


I’ve been meaning to write you for a while now. There’s so much to tell, and I don’t know where to start.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the future. There are so many things I need to know and don’t know who to ask… Guess nothing changed there.
A few days ago I stumbled, and I feared the worst, but I managed to get back on my feet again soon. I think I’m getting better at fighting it. The rabbit hole doesn’t seem so powerful anymore.
You should be proud to know that I reached out to a couple of people. Shyly and in disguised, but it’s a start.
The future is still scary, mostly because it’s unknown, but I don’t seem to freeze anymore.
The waves of panic are less common now, and I can almost believe them when they say I will make it.
I’ve always heard that with age comes tranquility, or maybe, with time, you just learn to pick your fights. Don’t know each one is true, but I finally seem to be getting less uncomfortable with the outside world.
My dreams haven’t changed much, but I have, and somehow now they seem a little bit more possible. I always felt like I hadn’t found my place in the world, and it wasn’t until recently that I started to think that maybe I just need to create it. Just because your dreams don’t fit in a pre-designed box, it doesn’t mean that you can’t wrap them nicely and be successful.

I have to go now, time is short. It always is, even though some days seem endless. I just wanted to let you know that maybe, just maybe, things will be all right. 

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