To whom expectations?

It has been said that we should not leave up to other people expectations but our own. But what to do when your own expectations are much greater and unreachable than everybody else’s? 

In the darkness of your mind I watch you struggle, I see you fighting against yourself. Without recognizing your value, your exceptionality, how awesome you are you keep cutting yourself short. I hear people around you loving you but somehow the message that gets to you is distorted because you are your own worst enemy.

You’ve always been great but to you that’s not enough. No, you have to be perfect. You congratulate others for their achievements, you convinced them that failing is part of life, that it doesn’t make them any less worthy, any less amazing, and I know you believe it. So how can you rule yourself by different standards? 

The usual advice is to tell people to trust the voice within them, to follow their gut. But when you’re constantly pushing yourself down you just have to block that voice. You can’t “believe the things you tell yourself so late night, you are your own worst enemy you'll never win the fight”*. You have to figure out a way to trust what everyone else is saying, to acknowledge what you rationally know it is true. 

I know you know it’s insane. But I can see the fear in your eyes everytime you are put to test. I can sense the panic no matter how ridiculous the task might be. And I don’t think you can change. I think you desperately want to but don’t know how. 

The pressure you put in yourself is unbearable. It’s not healthy. No one can cope with such a destructive input all the time. How to justify this need for perfection? When did this happen? What was it that made you think that you have to be like this? Will you ever grow out of it? 

* Parachute - Cheryl Cole