Parenthood

Parenthood is a job for life.

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

It’s not something you can go into light weighted, thinking “If I feel different later… it doesn’t matter”. When you become a parent you have to be aware that that’s a decision that doesn’t affect only you. You have to be sure whether or not you are willing and ready to jump in on that train.

You have your dreams as a parent. You hope for all the joy, wish to share those special moments, and those are the factors that usually tend to make you want to go further with the idea. But parenthood is not just about that, oh no, there’s so much more… There’s the pain and the fear, the doubts… so many doubts. How to be sure you’re taking the right choices, making the right calls? How to be certain what’s best for someone when you’re still trying to figure out what’s best for yourself?

Becoming a parent is (should be) a conscious decision. Not everybody is cut to be a parent and that’s allright. People should not be ashamed to admit that. It’s hard work… It’s hard work like no other relationship was or will ever be. And the reason for that? You already start in disadvantage, because no matter what they do or say, or how tired you are... it doesn’t matter how many times you’ll promise to yourself, you won’t be able to let it go. How could you? How could you ever give up on your baby?

But it’s tough… oh it’s so tough. Sometimes it gets to a point that you’re completely lost. Eventually you’ll run out of ideas and all the others that said that would help you will at some point lose their patience and walk away, but you’ll be stuck with it.

I don’t want to be negative, I just think it’s important that we realize what we’re getting into and that it doesn’t always go the way we’ve planned.

You’re never quite ready for it. No matter how many books you’ve read, how many people you talk to, how many kids you already raised… there will always be that moment when you have no clue what to do. And that’s scary… it’s scary to know that you may get to a point where you have no idea how to guide the person you love the most.

There are no absolute answers, no right or wrong, there are a lot of grey areas and it’s difficult to juggle all that, plus the fact that you have a truly unconditional love for that person. And whatever happens, even if on the back of your mind you know that you’ve done all you could, you’ll always feel responsible and you’ll always wonder “What did I do wrong?”.

Most likely is that you’ll never figure it out… all you can do is wish for the best, do the best you can and hope you’ll get lucky.